Celebrating the Love of Friends in a Loving World

Celebrating the Love of Friends in a Loving World
Red Roses for You, My Sweet Friends ... Total Love.

My Sweet Friends

My sweet friends,

We grow closer to each other;

When we interact together and share ideas;

The common faith that we share,

Binds our hearts in one accord.

For sweet friendships last a life time,

When built on mutual respect, humility and understanding;

Throughout each different season,

We find we are one in life.

Sweet friends are there through times of grief;

And times when hope is gone;

Always there with encouragement;

So we can carry on.

I thank the Lord for you,

My true and faithful friends;

To fondly speak with you, whether we agree or not,

On this, our beloved blog;

For sweet friends will stay, no matter what;

Giving support.

Together, our hearts and minds truly unite;

With the amazing love of sweet friends.

In the spirit of true friendship,

Best wishes, my sweet friends;

May the Lord bless you abundantly.

I remain, yours truly,

B.B. Bakampa.

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Thursday, July 14, 2011

Courtship Is Important Before Marriage

By Bakampa Brian Baryaguma
bsaint3@gmail.com; www.bbbakampa.blogspot.com

There are undoubtedly terribly bad moments in everyone’s life–times whose occurrence one regrets. These are times that one would be tempted to curse, for their memories bring nothing but feelings of pain and sorrow.

For my uncle, Justus, Monday, 11th July, 2011 will forever be absurd and haunting. On this day, his wife and mother of his children, Sylvia released a bombshell. She told him that actually he wasn’t the father of their last born, a one month-old child! Justus and Sylvia met in 2002 and started cohabiting. God has since blessed them with three children, minus the last born.

Unfortunately, theirs hasn’t been a happy union. It has been characterised by domestic violence. The two have constantly squabbled and fought, exchanging nasty and insulting abuses, even in the glare of their children. Eventually, Sylvia started fleeing to her parents’ home whenever they disagreed, where she spent several months, swearing not to return unless Justus comes to fetch her. But, he had to pay money to his in-laws, promising never to beat her again. In fact, Sylvia’s parents encouraged her to behave this way!

One day, the couple once again quarrelled and fought bitterly. Sylvia went to her parents’ where she spent about one and a half years. While there, she got into an affair with another man who impregnated her. Having expressed interest to return home, Justus picked her. Shortly thereafter, she said that she was pregnant. Although Justus hardly believed it, he nevertheless cared for her until Sylvia gave birth to her fourth child, who is now one month old.

On Monday morning, the couple fought again following Sylvia’s repeated insults to the effect that the baby’s father is a hundred times better than Justus! Sylvia reported Justus to the police who arrested him. At the police station, Sylvia finally spilled the beans–Justus isn’t the father of the baby. She explained that she was one month pregnant before returning home. Meanwhile, Justus has been arraigned before court.

This is an extremely sad and vexatious story. Since it is said that experience is the best teacher, young people have a lot to learn from it.

First and foremost, as youth we learn that it is absolutely important to go through courtship before getting married. Courtship enables intending couples to study one another’s strengths and weaknesses; thereby availing an opportunity of devising ways and means of diffusing inevitable tensions. For example, Justus and Sylvia never went through any sufficient courtship. They simply met at our home, stealthily loved themselves, leading to pregnancy. Later, their marriage was engineered.

Then, violence doesn’t solve much. It is better to resolve all disputes peacefully, without fighting. Following incessant brutal fights with Justus, Sylvia was tempted to indulge in sexual infidelity with another man. Eventually this has ruined their marriage. Violence is always counterproductive.

I must point out here, that there is need for a liberal system of divorce. Like in many other countries, the current laws governing divorce in Uganda are unnecessarily rigid and stringent. Consequently, many couples find themselves stuck in very abusive relationships. This explains the rampant domestic violence.

Finally, to all unhappy couples out there, a reminder that Dr. Jennifer Howard said that, “Part of being happy, productive and mature is by learning to take life as it comes and making the best with what we have.” So, make an effort to be as happy as possible. I believe that life is too short and precious to be spent on anger and resentment.